Do you believe in fate? Destiny? God? How can you believe in evolution and still think there is a higher power that is in control of how your life turns out? Unless, Adam and Eve were microscopic organisms....but..
I don't know if I like the idea that my decisions have been pre-destined already. Yet, so many forks have crossed my path that would have made my life much different. If my family had stayed in Wells, ME, where would I be today? I recently found out that the boy I first fell in love with, killed himself and his girlfriend. (This happened a few years back) But it made me think, what if I hadn't moved out of Wells? Would that have been me found stabbed to death in my apartment in PA? Then, we move further on in life. I was enlisted in the Army as a Senior in High School. But, days before I was supposed to ship off to basic training, I backed out. Had I remained enlisted, I could be in the Middle East fighting a war that I'm against. I could be dead.
Instead, I followed the path of my heart, and got pregnant at 18 by a guy I had only known for a few short months. Who would have thought, 15 years later I would still be with that guy, happily married with a bright BEAUTIFUL daughter? The odds were against me on this road. Yet, I beat them.
I'm on the fence about this whole fate issue. It's hard to think that one is NOT in control of their own destiny. That you don't have a say in how your life ends up. Yet, I sit here wondering, what if....Were the higher powers at work when they helped my parents make the decision to move to Saco? (Destiny of death by boyfriend no longer in play) Who was it that made me choose a civilian life over Military life that put me on this particular path of pure happiness? (And not stuck in 100+ degree weather fighting for a cause that I don't agree with. Possible death?) I don't want to think there is a force out there, greater than all of one person's thoughts and feelings, yet I sit here shaking my head and shrugging my shoulders at how my destiny has played out. It's as if everything and everyone in my life has helped me get to where I am today.
Recently I was put back in touch with a friend via Facebook, whom I haven't heard from in a few years. She not only requested me as her friend, but my twin brother's fiancee. I was like, "Weird!" As it turns out, she is separately friends with my Sister-in-law from Bath, ME AND my twin brother's fiancee from a college Spanish class. We are talking a distance of about 300 miles between all of us. The odds?
Why were these people put in my path? Were they suppose to be subtle distractions to make me go one way over another? Had I not met a certain person at a particular point in my life, would I be where I am today?? Would I be happily married? Would it be Dave that I'm married to? Would Alyssa be in my life?
So, I don't know if it was fate or destiny or some powerful being that has brought me to this particular moment in life. I don't know if the people I have befriended were given to me to guide me to where I am today.
Whatever it is or if IT is anything at all, I'm thankful. Thankful for the wonderful people I have met through the years, the wonderful places I have been, the experiences that will stay in my memory forever.
I'm Grateful for the happiness I feel.
Be it from the hand of a god (or goddess), or fate: an inevitable course of events that led me to this particular point in my life, I guess what it boils down to is, I'm happy.