Looking for cheat codes

Jessica needs a vacation. Life, work...gets a little overwhelming. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE MY LIFE! But I need a vacation from being a wife, mom, driver, maid, cook, pet care-taker....you know? I want, for just one day, to wake up and NOT have to worry about getting breakfast ready - making lunches, feeding cats/birds, thinking about what to make for supper, worrying about what the plans are for the next day and making sure we are prepared for what ever they are, do we have toilet paper? Paper towels? Soap??? Washing dishes, cleaning toilets, scrubbing floors.....sigh....working...working....working...... I want to be able to just get up - enjoy the quietness of the environment, read a book, lay in the sun, go for a walk (and not have to worry about missing something/someone)

I'm usually up at 7 or 8 on the weekends - but lately I've been in bed until 9/10. Have you ever heard of the Sims? I feel like one of those characters - I'm watching my "mood" level dip into the red. It's like I'm on auto-pilot. Wake up - fix breakfast, feed cats, make lunch, go to work, come home, clean. Drive Alyssa where she needs to go, go shopping (not the fun kind either!) pick Alyssa up - make dinner, do dishes...by 9 I'm pooped! (Energy level is in the red) Wake up and start the same cycle over again. (Who ever is playing me in the game needs to research how to keep their avatar happy!!) To bad it's not as easy in real life to get out of the "slums". In the Sims - all you have to do is call out of work, and throw a party! By the next day, you're "mood" is in the green, energy - green.... Or, you can Google "Sim cheats" and find a way....our there any cheat codes for real life????

I'm sitting here in my office and I hear the mailman outside, whistling a Christmas tune. Poor man! Doesn't he realize that this is the beginning of...dum dum dummmmmmmm.....Christmas? The last few years, I've been dreading Christmas. I felt that the meaning of the season was drowned in sales, profits and long lines in stores. The commercialization of the holiday season killed any enjoyment I held for it. I mean, Christmas decorations and Holiday gift baskets were on the store shelves before Halloween!! I still think it's overly commercialized, and I still believe the meaning has been lost to most (check the lost and found maybe??) But I realized this holiday season I'm anticipating Christmas. It hit me, as I heard my mailman whistling to his version of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" that I I want to decorate my house this year, I want to help hang those ornaments on the real Christmas Tree, for not just my daughter this year, but for myself. I'm listening to music at work - and not getting a headache from it. I've come to realize that the Holidays are what you make of it - regardless of how society has turned it into a shopping extravaganza! And stores are only anticipating the end of the season sales percentages. I will not let the industries influence how I celebrate the holidays with my friends and family. I don't care if sales were up this year compared to last. I don't care that I may have to stand in line to get a gift my daughter saw on an advertisement on TV. Being with my family and friends. This is what I want.

So, here's to Christmas music, candy canes, twinkling lights, Eggnog and Santa Clause!

NEE NER NEE NER NEEEEEE NER!!!!

Duck, cover, hide! No, run to New England!! Wild fires, flooding, tornadoes, earthquakes…hurricanes, every day I read the news and there is some weather catastrophe taking place. There are fires in the west, floods in the south, tornadoes in the interiors, droughts in the south east and southwest. It sure makes me feel real happy to be snug in New England. Sure, we have our problems too. The occasional high tides that overflow the coastal streets, the Nor’ Easter snow storms and ice storms that plague us in the winter, but, comparatively speaking – we’ve got it good! I was watching the news this morning and they were discussing the fires in California, the newscaster mentioned “wild fire season”. They were talking to a couple who said they moved from a previous house because it was in the direct line of known fire areas to this one, , whose house was destroyed by the fire. Could you imagine living in “wild fire alley” or “tornado alley”? Yikes!

I may complain about the winters and the snow and the ice – but I’ll live here forever as long as we don’t have to grow up with tornado alarm preparations or earthquake aftershocks. We still get the Emergency Broadcast messages but typically we hear, “This is a test, this is only a test!” So, as the Maine saying goes, “The way life should be!” This should be a New England motto, not just a state motto.

Surrounded by, Dad!!

I came to a funny realization today; that all the important men in my life are comparable to my father. They all have characteristics of dad. Now, my dad is the greatest man of all time. (I’m not just saying that to make him happy either!) He is one-of-a-kind though, and to think that now the significant men in my life all share the same qualities of my unique father figure. They are all loving, devoted, intelligent, stubborn, pig-headed men who always seem to be right. (And they usually are!) There is no arguing with them to change their minds. Once they believe in something, they accept it as the truth and will not budge on their judgment. I’m not saying this to be critical of them, these are very strong characteristics, and make for a powerful personality that no one can ignore. At first sight, these men seem abrasive and self-righteous, but just like my dad, their hearts are pure. They will be the first one to loan you money if you need it, even if you still owe them. They will give you the shirt off their own back to warm you if you are cold, but remind you they told you to bring one. They are always just a phone call away if you are in trouble. And, just like my dad, all of their actions, thoughts, and words are done with a purpose, and the purpose always revolves around family.

My personality, on the other hand, is the complete opposite of them. I’m a listener and I’m compliant. I don’t like fighting or arguments. I "let things go". I owe this, probably, from growing up with my dad. Someone said to me this morning "Fear builds respect." I rolled my eyes at the person and just nodded my head in agreement. I didn’t believe a word of it, but as I didn’t want to cause a disagreement at 8 in the morning, I just let it go. Yet, now I’m thinking back on what the "wise man" counseled me on and, as usual, I think he’s right. As a parent, I believe fear does build respect. I was afraid to do anything wrong when I was a child as I did not want to "deal with the repercussions" of my father. When he was angry, he was fuming. You, or should I say I, learned at a very young age to try to do the right things and be honest and trustworthy, kinda like a boy scout. I respected his feelings, his thoughts, and always tried to do the right things. If I didn’t, it was the "wrath of god" I had to deal with. Did I necessarily know this as a kid? No. I didn’t. But, if it wasn’t for this disciplinary figure, I would not be the person I am today. So now I show my respect. Therefore, it’s no wonder to me, now at the age I am, why I seem to be surrounded by men, great men, similar to my dad. Men that will give you their heart and soul, and expect only a slight interest on its return.

Last night

Last night, I spent the first night in our new home listening to our first thunderstorm. The skies were bright and the house was trembling from the thunderous roar. The cats were there for support though, or so I thought. They both decided to jump up on the bed with me as I watched, for the first time, "Rent". One was curled up by my feet, the other needing a little more comfort, decided to make a nest between my legs. As the storm approached and the thunder became noisier, they both seemed to have one ear lifted up and one eye partially opened. I was counting in between flashes and thunder; 1, 2, 3….Then there was a white flash through the window and the most deafening, earsplitting crackle I've ever heard from a lighting storm. (I swear lighting struck in my back yard.) Before I even had a chance to think about what just happened, the cat's bolted! One ran under the bed, while the other found safety in the closet. Traitors!! I secretly was wishing that Alyssa would wake up scared, and run to my bed! She some how, miraculously slept through the whole storm. After that, the storm slowly moved off to disturb some other quiet countryside neighborhood. The cat, after a long while, decided to come back to me for comfort. After his treachery, I made him sleep beside me as opposed to his safety nest. It's past 2 in the morning. The movie over, the hour late, I shut the TV off and tried to get some sleep. All I could hear was the ping of rain on my window, and the subtle hum of my cat purring. I can't sleep. It's me and no-one else, besides the cat. (The other was still hiding in the closet). I'm sleeping alone, and I hate it. Yes, I know he'll be back on Monday – but that doesn't change the fact that my king size bed is sleeping just one.

Just an ordinary day?

Today is just another ordinary day, but yet it feels like there’s something special in the air. Maybe it’s because after the record breaking warm temperatures we’ve been having, it at last feels like fall. The trees are in the process of dropping their leaves, leaving us with an array of splendid colors. I woke up this morning, looked out my window and saw in the midst of still green trees, a long strand of bright red leaves from a hanging vine. They say the color red makes one feel irate, or angry – it made me feel restless. It brought this sensation of change. I feel like I have to get things in order, before….. Before what though? That is the answer I am searching for. I wish I could see into the future to try to get my answer. To learn what it is that I feel like I need to prepare for.

The not knowing is killing me. My heart is pounding a little faster; I seem to have a constant feeling of… I can’t describe it. My nerves are working over-time. I can’t seem to stop looking out the windows. And I’m not just glancing, I’m gaping. As if I’m waiting for someone, or something to just appear. I’ve got goose bumps on my arms and legs, yet I’m not cold. What is it? It almost feels like I forgot something… Did I turn off the coffee maker this morning?

Could it just be the changing of the seasons? Could I, for once, actually be looking forward to summer coming to an end? Ha! No. That’s not it. If there are any psychics out there, now would be the time to try to sell me your services.

Thin Blooded and Trapped Until Spring

It's 45 degrees outside this morning and COLD! I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt, and debating on putting on a jacket. I'm a thin-blooded New Englander. Yikes! What a dilemma!! Sadly, summer has come, and is on its way out. Gone are the days of fire flies swarming about, trees green with life, the smell of lawns freshly mowed…No more heading to the beach to cool down, no more humming of air conditioners! The fans are collecting dust and the geese are honking overhead as they fly south. It's time to put the tank tops and shorts in storage and pull out the boxes of sweaters, turtle necks and coats. Ugh! No more dressing skimpily, now it's time to wear layers. It's tough living in an area where it's cold eight months out of the year. Don't get me wrong, I love living in New England. I just have to remind myself every September why. I mean, just because the birds fly south, doesn't mean there isn't something to look forward to by staying right???

Fall is beautiful in New England. People from all over the U.S. take trips up here to see the leaves, in all their fall glory, in shades of reds, oranges and yellows. It is pretty when you see the first frost covering the once beautiful green grass. It is refreshing, at times, to go outside and take a breath of the crisp clean cold air. You can almost smell the coming of…winter. Sigh…winter. Thinking of fall reminds me of winter. Alas, fall only lasts a month or so.
Now, being a thin-blooded inhabitant of these cold New England states can be treacherous in the winter. The average high is in the 40's. Your nose tingles as you breathe that cold air just walking to your car. You put two pairs of socks on, and your feet are still cold! You're never warm enough unless you set your thermostat at 75! Again, I have to use reverse psychology on myself to prepare for the cold months that are on our doorstep…

Winter brings snow. There is nothing like waking up in the morning, looking out the window and seeing that the first true snow has fallen. The glistening of white surrounds you. Oh look! There's a beautiful red cardinal perched on the leafless oak tree branch…Winter up here also means skiing, sledding, and snow tubing. It means warm fireplaces and Christmas. Ahhhh, holiday parties and food. Decorated trees glowing with the abundance of multi-colored lights. Garland and tinsel hanging from banisters. Yes, winter can be pretty….cold!

Winter clothes, layers of clothes. The months when even a skinny person can look plump! Did I mention the cold? The wind chill is factored in with every temperature reading…yes its 45 degrees, but with the wind-chill it feels like 20….can you hand me another pair of socks!
What gets me through the cold seasons up here? Obviously my reverse psychology isn't working…Spring, the thought of spring is what has me waking up with a hint of a smile as I quickly get out from underneath my comforter in the morning and throw on my artic quality robe. Yes, the countdown for spring is beginning…

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